Christianity lavishly celebrates Easter as the supreme Feast of Life.
Many societies also hold Easter as a Feast of Life.
After all, it is Spring!
families and friends together,
bunnies, chicks, colored eggs
all these things herald new Life.
Seeking New Life is innate!!
Throughout these first four weeks
of this Easter Season of New Life*,
I continue to share my poetry and prayer
as reflections of life sought
by survivors of sexual violence
and their friends and families.
I am not a victim of this horror but have been honored
to walk with many who are.
Their anonymous stories are the grist of these prayers and poems.
I put them out to you as vehicles
of healing, hope, awareness and new life.
You can find these thoughts as the heart of The Prayerful Peacock
on the Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays of this April.
Please share with anyone who is searching for words akin to mine.
[If reprinting, kindly remember to cite this author.]
A Clean canvas
God–hear this now:
I want to paint my life over,
like a room pleading for fresh color,
like a clean canvas that begs a story.
I covet the ability to believe I have moved on;
that this furnace of abuse is burnt out,
and I have finally escaped its searing flames.
I boldly proclaim
“I am a survivor—this will not happen any more on my watch…”
Yet the cycle of horror wins once again
as my spouse’s tales of incest and dalliance
relight the fires of fear and betrayal,
nauseating my gut and trembling my knees
to discover his father was abused,
and he was abused
and he perpetrates this abuse
like a virus without cure…
Is there anyone who is not sucked into this hateful horror?
And why me?
Do I wear my past on my clothing,
like a gaudy jewel, and ugly stain?
Do I smell like so much garbage?
God–hear this now:
It must end.
I demand a fresh start,
an empty page,
newly painted walls,
a clean canvas.
©Nancie Chmielewski updated 4/6/15
* April is set aside as a month of Sexual Abuse Awareness.