It’s been quite a week in the states.
I have been searching for appropriate words and mainly stumbling, in trying to share my own feelings about this new reality my country has entered.
I am angry.
I brush it off.
I am terror stricken.
I am disappointed, frustrated, at a loss.
I feel completely ignorant.
I feel justified and righteous.
I am worried.
I desire to be patient, accepting, willing to listen, to work hard at reconciliation.
I want to pray and then I feel empty and dry.
Please don’t dismiss me and tell me to just get over it. “Too bad—we felt that way last time. Suck it up, whatever…”
I don’t believe I ever told you to do that.
And, when my candidate took office, his campaign rhetoric inspired good will, not carte blanche permission for people of ill will to act worse.
And that is why I feel all those things I just wrote down.
What do I know about myself?
I will continue to advocate for the poor (whatever color or ethnicity they might be).
I will continue to advocate for women to know they are whole and good and equal and no man’s damn doormat. (#realbeautyeverywoman).
I will continue to advocate for LGBTQ rights (we are all human beings).
And most of all, I will continue to do the difficult and frightening work of self examination, so as to be as honest as possible in naming my own growing edges in seeing Christ in all people.
I’m not sure which stage of grief this is Dr. Kubler-Ross, but walking through it is the only way to get to the other side…
Thanks for abiding this self reflection today.